I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
