This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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