yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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