Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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