if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
