Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
