So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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