youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
