I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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