2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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