Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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