You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
