she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
