I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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