Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
