I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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