i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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