Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
