all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The best revenge is premature balding
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
