Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
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You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
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Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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