Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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