I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
