Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Randomize