the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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