he puts the penis in happiness.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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