and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
