Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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