xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize