For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I forget how to act sober
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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