Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize