I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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