Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
