Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
