Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
