OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
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Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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