I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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