Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!†In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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