He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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