A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
