literally had 100 drinks last night.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
