well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
