HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
