Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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