i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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