i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it was like eating out sand paper
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
