I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My penis needs a shock collar
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
