forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize