Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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