Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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