i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
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Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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