I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
