I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
