So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
