Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
