Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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