Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
