is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
