It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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