we made out on top of his cat.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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