remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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