I'm gonna have a badass scar
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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